??????
I can't believe I am continuously writing on here like a mad man. In fact, right now I feel like a mad man. I read over the first post about my recurring nightmare. Trying to figure this entire thing out so I can have a good night's rest. The part where the man in my dream wrote "I can't believe you've left me for another man - THAT DAY,"
What day? Yes, I've had a past where I have mistreated a partner's trust but I haven't done it this time. Well, I'm not dating anyone but seriously - I wouldn't go out, cheat or see any other people if I started seeing someone/got into something serious. I'll stay loyal and have done in the past. I have/had no temptations whatsoever to cheat on BA, even Logan when we were seeing each other. I didn't even see anyone when I met Robert. I'm a one man woman. Does that even make sense???
Is my mind just trying to come to terms with what I've done in the past??? I'm still shook. Yes, I know I care a lot but I have a big heart, and would never want to see anyone hurt. I'm very "motherly" and protective of people that I care about, even that mystery man in my dream. I'll do anything to protect a person I love and care for. 💖
If someone sent me a text asking me for some kind of psychological or emotional help - that would be the way to break me. It's my biggest weakness. Text, or better yet - call me anytime. 3 am, 5 am, 7 p.m - you have your pick , and you have me wrapped around your finger. Specifically tell me you desperately need someone to talk to, or even make me feel guilty about the fact that you have done something for me, and this is how I repay you? (Logan, don't get any ideas :P)
I want to sleep - I'm exhausted. But I can't. I would rather stay awake, mindless, braindead than feel those emotions from my nightmares that feel like I've travelled into a parallel universe where this man has me trapped and I have absolutely no way out. It's always the same man in my dreams too..
Reveal yourself damn it!!!
What day? Yes, I've had a past where I have mistreated a partner's trust but I haven't done it this time. Well, I'm not dating anyone but seriously - I wouldn't go out, cheat or see any other people if I started seeing someone/got into something serious. I'll stay loyal and have done in the past. I have/had no temptations whatsoever to cheat on BA, even Logan when we were seeing each other. I didn't even see anyone when I met Robert. I'm a one man woman. Does that even make sense???
Is my mind just trying to come to terms with what I've done in the past??? I'm still shook. Yes, I know I care a lot but I have a big heart, and would never want to see anyone hurt. I'm very "motherly" and protective of people that I care about, even that mystery man in my dream. I'll do anything to protect a person I love and care for. 💖
If someone sent me a text asking me for some kind of psychological or emotional help - that would be the way to break me. It's my biggest weakness. Text, or better yet - call me anytime. 3 am, 5 am, 7 p.m - you have your pick , and you have me wrapped around your finger. Specifically tell me you desperately need someone to talk to, or even make me feel guilty about the fact that you have done something for me, and this is how I repay you? (Logan, don't get any ideas :P)
I want to sleep - I'm exhausted. But I can't. I would rather stay awake, mindless, braindead than feel those emotions from my nightmares that feel like I've travelled into a parallel universe where this man has me trapped and I have absolutely no way out. It's always the same man in my dreams too..
Reveal yourself damn it!!!