Recurring Nightmares #1

I didn't like sleeping to begin with, but now I despise sleeping even more. Why? Because of my recurring nightmares that continue to happen every single damn night. There are several variations of my nightmares but here is one of the most frightening one (to this date - I'm sure some other nightmare can potentially beat it). 

Starts off with me waking up to a very dark room. A man's back is turned to me but I can't identify who it really is... An incredibly dreadful feeling comes over me as I realize I have no idea where I am. Who was this man? Why am I here? My fight or flight mode is starting to kick in, as I am sensing immense danger about to unfold. Again, the man's back is still turned to me. All I can gather is he is tall. I get up, and he doesn't acknowledge I'm out of the bed or my entire existence. It's almost as if I'm a ghost. He begins to sob, the sobbing becomes deeper and he buries his face in his hands. As he's sobbing he's saying my name but with cracks in his voice. He can't yell my (real) name and cry simultaneously so he decides to just cry instead.. 

He picks up his phone and scrolls through some of our messages. He contemplates sending me a message but pausing, because he doesn't know what to say. This mystery man thinks up some strange story he can type up, but immediately erases it. Crying commences once again. Impulsively, he calls me. I hear my own voice pick up the phone and he keeps quiet. A very dark feeling stabs me in the heart when he says "Can you take me back? I love you. I can't live without you." It was creepy watching myself talk to this man I didn't know from my point of view. 

I let out a deep sigh. "Please - it's over. Leave me alone." He makes sure I can hear him crying, and this time he says "I'm going to kill myself then." Before I could say anything - he hangs up. He throws his phone across the room and is frantically searching for paper. This man wants to tell me off, and write a love letter to me at the same time. As he begins writing this angry love letter, I could actually see what he is writing to me. 

"Dear ________ (real name),

I knew I loved you from the beginning. I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with you. But you had to break it off, and now I'm broken. I can't live without you. I need you. You're my soulmate. I can't believe you left me that day for another man." 

I can't remember the rest, if I did I would probably be in a coma right now because I remember reading the rest of that letter and feeling like the grim reaper himself was mocking me. It was sick, twisted, dark and made me feel incredibly guilty. He continues to call me and leaves me voicemails. 

I'm feeling helpless at this point. I continue to watch him and he abruptly stops everything he's doing. The phone calls, writing, crying. Everything. The man slowly gets up and walks to the kitchen drawers. He pulls out a knife. Panic and anxiety flood my body as I don't know whether to make him acknowledge my presence or hide in the background. Again - he begins sobbing. He collapses to the floor and places himself into fetal position (thank you person in comments for knowing how to spell it right as I did not). He places the knife to his wrists and begins to cut deeper. He struggles to get up but manages to do so anyways, and he begins to dial my number. 

"(real name), look at what you've done to me...." His voice trails off. I begin screaming. He can't see me but he can hear me. He immediately turns around to search for the source of the screaming. The me that he could see, rushes to his house to help him. 

I get there and he's laying in a pool of his own blood. He lays there still, and the only words that come out of his mouth are "look at what you've done to me." 

Then it switches to another nightmare. Holy crap, I don't know what any of this means but I am so scared. It feels like a prophetic dream - like it's something that could happen. 

I'm hoping it's some kind of accumulated guilt but it felt so real....